Client or patient Tonsure or cutting tonsils Come sit in my chair Entrusting your hair to a stylist is the same as putting your life in their hands. Anyone that has experienced a haircut will say the same. (lol, not joking, though) So the logic of literally trusting them with your actual life tracks for me. The early modern man felt that way, too. (#nochoice) Barber-surgeons did it all. From haircuts to amputation, they were your one-stop shop. Just look for the red-and-white stripes. #justatrimthanks #noreallyjustatrim #thismanisdying #quickcallthebarber #causeyoureworthit #earlymodern #barbersurgeon #haikuesday

To eat the world's due Famine where abundance lies Too cruel, tender churl. Me roleplaying as a telegraph operator. I think Shakespeare would be pleased with all the money I saved him. Trimmed the fat, as it were 😂. His point might not be clear anymore, but that's the risk you take with telegrams. And haikus. You're also going to forgive me for not being a method actor. A real operator would've spelled out the commas and end with 'STOP'. Maybe next time. p.s. he's talking about beautiful people not making babies and how he would like you all to knock that off. (well, he's really talking about a specific person here but we're going to go with a broad 'general application' approach) So if you're beautiful, please get on with it. Chop chop. #wechargebythewordhere #brevityisthesoulofwit #yourewelcomewill #tickertapesonnet #purpleprose #sorrythatwasblasphemy #itakeitback #theworldmustbepeopled #dontbeselfish #redistributionofbeauty #thisisgoodadvice #concernaboutdecliningbeautyrates #imeanbirthrates #sonnet1 #shakespeare #haiku

I'm a villain, Mom. One day I'll do away with Pedro. And bedtime. So I've decided that not much emotional maturity happened for John since his teenage years. I mean, listen to the pout on this "grown man": "I must be sad when I have cause, and smile at no man’s jests; eat when I have stomach, and wait for no man’s leisure; sleep when I am drowsy, and tend on no man’s business; laugh when I am merry, and claw no man in his humor." Sure, that's the dream, right? But it's so entitled. And juvenile. (Now he's got me whining) It also doesn't help that becoming the biggest turd in existence seems to be the sum total of his ambitions. Let's act our age, John. #cankerinahedge #cankersgonnacank #notaword #arresteddevelopment #dontbeaturd #putjohnintimeout #pedrosnotscaredofyoujohn #nooneis #youknowwhoisavillian #iago #wakeupjohn #youreinlittleleagues #shakespeare #muchadoaboutnothing #donjohn

Will, every Tuesday Shall ever be Haiku-esday Because it's our Will. My genius astounds me 😂. The first offering for the necessary and oft-neglected literary art form of haiku-expressed Shakespearean appreciation. You know it well, I'm sure. And we won't be the reason it disappears.